Let the Good Times Roll!!!!

A couple of days ago Bill told me that he had made plans for celebrating his birthday which is coming up on February 28th. I was shocked. Let's just say that social planning and decision-making is not the first arrow that Bill normally pulls from his quiver. Allow me to illustrate...


If you get more than one Reed (and we're talking biological Reeds, not grafted-in Reeds) in a car at mealtime this is the conversation you will hear every single time:


First Reed: Where do you want to get lunch? (or dinner or breakfast)


Second Reed: I don't care. Where do you want to eat?


First Reed: I really don't have a preference. You say.


Second Reed: No, you say.


First Reed: I really want you to pick.


Second Reed: I think it's your turn to decide.


This game of verbal chicken can go on for hours (and I'm not joking). Many years ago, in San Diego, we were vacationing with a full compliment of Reeds. At lunch time we piled into three cars, the goal being for the lead car to find a nice seafood restaurant and pull in for lunch with everyone else playing "follow the leader." Instead, we stopped every two or three miles and pulled into a 7-Eleven parking lot to have the above conversation. Verbatim. Except with more Reeds playing restaurant decision hot potato. We did this for three hours, until it was too late to eat lunch and every thing was closed until dinner.


So you can see why it surprised me when Bill announced that he had made his own birthday plans.


Some of you may recall that last year, I surprised Bill on his birthday with a cultural experience. You can go back and read about it here:


http://billlindasworld.blogspot.com/2008/03/viva-mariachi.html


I had planned to get tickets this year to a fun concert or stage play. For my last birthday, we enjoyed the play, "Twelve Angry Men" in Los Angeles. I thought I would plan something along those lines, little knowing that he was making his own plans.

Wow! I guess it's true that great minds think alike!

Instead of going to a concert at the Fox or a play at the Music Center in L.A., though, we are going to a melodrama...at the VFW hall...in Oildale...put on by a group of oil field workers who have banded together to form a dramatic society...at the VFW hall...in Oildale.





For any of my readers who are not from this area, let me just say that Oildale is the part of town that people in Weedpatch and Pumpkin Center think is low class.



Apparently, not only does this merry band of rough necks write scripts and perform, they also cook. Included in our $100 per person ticket price is the cost of a tasty homestyle meal. AND...(it just gets better)...we get to share our table with strangers!!! Actually, they are only unknown to me. I will be celebrating my husband's birthday with several work associates and their wives, who I am sure are lovely strangers.


Let me hasten to interject that this is all for a good cause. It is a fund-raiser for the American Cancer Society. After the 28th I will let you know whether it would have been better to just write a check...

Cute Stuff!

Emily has completely re-vamped The Blog Fairy with all new headers and backgrounds. VERY CUTE stuff!!!--check it out.

Eat Your Heart Out, Harry!

Somewhere, my brother-in-law Harry Reed, is a broken man. Oh, I'm sure he's made an effort to act like he doesn't care. He may have even tried to act happy for me. But first runner-up is never quite the same as Miss America (just ask Miss Georgia).

As the reigning Miss Sarcastic, queen of all things cynical and smart-alecky in Reed World, I was happy just to be nominated. But now I have received a prize... Many thanks to Laura for the lovely selection of honey and beeswax-based beauty products. They smell wonderful! But I wonder...is this an attempt to "soften" me up? Or make me "sweeter?" It doesn't matter--I'm just going to rest on my laurels and enjoy the moment.

Thank you, Laura!

On another note...We are having an excellent visit with Sarah, Sean, Ashton and Alvie. Sean is here to do a few gate-building projects and anytime you can combine exotic travel with money-making opportunities it's like falling into a lucky pit. I am doing my best to coerce Sarah into updating her blog (it's only been like 6 months) but in the meantime, here are a few recent photos of the Taylor clan.

Beehives Crack Me Up!

Tonight at Mutual we had a short lesson on journal-writing, then the girls made journals by decorating composition books with scrapbook paper, buttons, ribbon, stickers, etc. They had a good time chatting and crafting. I had a great time listening in on their conversations. I learned a lot of interesting things tonight:

1. Napoleon Dynamite was killed in a car wreck.

2. Carrie Underwood is a lesbian. You can tell if you really listen to her songs. But Taylor Swift is a better singer.

3. A lot of men math teachers are albinos.

4. If you search U-Tube for "huge zit" you will see some amazingly disgusting things.

Just thought you'd like to know the latest buzz in teenland.

A Modest Proposal

Today I'm thinking about how much I would enjoy having my own "church sherpa."

His duties would include, but not be limited to, toting my church luggage from place to place on Sunday. As you can see in this photo, sherpas are very good at carrying things. Compared to this guy's load, my camp gear would be a tropical vacation; a tablecloth, easel, large framed picture, houseplant, binder, YW lesson manual, handouts, object lesson, wordstrips, magnets, bundle of pencils, church keys, scriptures, Sunday school lesson manual, study guide, DVD, jacket (we have two distinct climate zones in our building), and water bottle. And then there's my purse...

Sherpas are also very nimble and sure-footed, which would come in handy when trying to side-step the toddlers who swarm the foyers and hallways like feral cats.

When he wasn't shifting my load from the car to the chapel to Sunday school to the young women's room to my classroom (with a couple of trips to the bathroom in between) I could keep him busy with other Sunday duties that I don't particularly relish:

I could send him to the library to wrestle chalk and an eraser away from the librarian.

Since we meet in the seminary room, I could have him go in ahead of time to air out the room and get rid of the "eau de teenage boys" which permeates the carpet and drapes.

I could have him mete out inscrutably effective Nepalese tortures to girls who violate the "no texting during YW rule."

My brother served his mission in Washington D.C. and served, for a while, in a very wealthy area where the chauffeurs lined up outside the building during church, patiently awaiting their charges. In my fantasy ward there would be a line of patient sherpas, waiting to tote all your church luggage back out the car, while you chatted in the foyer with friends and feral kittens.

I'd Like to Thank All the Little People...

This week I won two major awards and neither one is a leg lamp.

First, as you can see if you look to your right, I have received the "Kreative Blogger" award. Apparently, this award was "kreated" by someone whose intent was to draw attention to worthy blogs by ordinary people. (We'll ignore the assumption that I am ordinary.) I was nominated by both Emily (alias The Blog Fairy) and by Karrie Bunting. I want to thank them for their kind comments. In return, I am supposed to nominate five other Bloggers worthy of mention. The problem is that I visit very few blogs, and most of them have already been nominated. Even nepotism will not allow me to nominate Sarah, Clare or Carl. You have to blog more than once a quarter to get my vote! I would encourage any of my lurkers to visit the blogs I have listed. They all have something unique to offer--even if it is often just VERY old news!

My second award comes from my sister-in-law, Laura Swenson. She nominated me for the honor of being named the "most sarcastic member of the Reed family." She solicited votes on her blog and apparently I won. Lest you feel offended on my behalf...don't. Receiving this award from members of my family is like being voted the funniest guy at a clown convention. It is an honor that I will carry with pride and distinction. AND....there is a prize involved. Laura would only say that she has it packaged and ready to ship. I may or may not blog about it. There is a chance that it will not be something that I want to share with the world at large. Or maybe it IS a leg lamp...

Crazy or What?

I feel adrift in the world. One of my sure anchors has been tossed aside.

There used to be a reliable sign that someone was crazy:

They talked to themselves.

Now, at least in the great state of California, that benchmark has gone the way of smoking in public and spanking your children.

Since July 1, 2007, it has been illegal in CA to talk on your cell phone while driving. The fine, for a first-time offense, is $75. People have found various ways to comply with the new law; leaving their cell phone in the cup holder and talking on speaker phone (Clare), using a visor-mounted hands-free devise (me), or wearing a blue-tooth thing in your ear (everyone else in the state).

There are problems associated with each solution.

The main problem with Clare's good idea is that it's illegal. I will say no more. The problem I am having with my visor/speaker is twofold. First, after seven months I still can't remember how the damn thing works and I am forever disconnecting people when I try to answer a call. Second, I can't get past the feeling that in order to be heard, I should be looking towards the speaker, my nose pointed at the roof of the car. Surely that isn't safe?

The problem with the earpiece can best be illustrated by what happened to me yesterday at Target.

I was on the cosmetics aisle, trying to buy a tube of lipstick. I know I am dating myself just by calling it a "tube." Lipstick now comes in wands, and in multi-step processes. Added to the fact that I have never in my entire life bought a shade that I was happy with once I got home, you can see that this was a trial for me. While puzzling over the difference between "Cinnamon Shine" and "Nutmeg Sparkle" (and getting hungry in the process), a woman sidled up to me and this conversation ensued:

Her: "I can't help you this time."

Me: (self-conscious chuckle) "That's okay. I'll just muddle through on my own. But thanks for the offer."

Her: (glaring in my direction) "You don't need to get ***tty with me. I would help you if I could, but I can't."

Me: (confused) "Sorry...didn't mean to bother you."

Her: (raising her voice) "You're such a **tch!"

Me: (backing away) "There's no need to get cranky..."

Her: (glaring directly at me) "Who are you talking to? Were you listening to my call? It's none of your g** d*** business! ***ch!"

And then she stomped off, around the corner. I could hear her on the next aisle complaining loudly about this "crazy woman listening in on my phone call."

It used to be that if someone walked around talking to themself they were crazy. It was one of the three sure signs, along with wearing your lipstick outside the lines (again with the lipstick) and pulling your pants up too high. Now you can't tell...they might be crazy, or they might be taking a phone call. Or both.

she looks so normal

Six Thumbs Up!

Bill, Clare and I (Chris was at work) went to see "Marley and Me" last night. What a WONDERFUL movie!!!! This is NOT a chick flick--it's a movie about real people (only funnier than most of us), based on a true story (bestselling book by John Grogan), about very nice people--a family which is normal in every way (imagine that!)--except that they own the world's worst dog. It's sweet, hilarious, sad, and moving. Even dog-haters (and you know who you are) will thoroughly enjoy this movie.

Crafty Clippies

I am between projects while I await the delivery of some crewel wool that I ordered, so I decided to try a small project that I found on the internet--hair clips. I gathered up all the clips I could find in the house and, using scraps that I had on hand, made up 13. I thought they turned out quite cute, if I do say so myself. Sort of like cozy little sleeping bags for clippies. If you are interested, let me know and I will send you the link to the site where I found them. Or...let me know any colors that you want, and I will make them for you.