Today I'm thinking about how much I would enjoy having my own "church sherpa." His duties would include, but not be limited to, toting my church luggage from place to place on Sunday. As you can see in this photo, sherpas are very good at carrying things. Compared to this guy's load, my camp gear would be a tropical vacation; a tablecloth, easel, large framed picture, houseplant, binder, YW lesson manual, handouts, object lesson, wordstrips, magnets, bundle of pencils, church keys, scriptures, Sunday school lesson manual, study guide, DVD, jacket (we have two distinct climate zones in our building), and water bottle. And then there's my purse...
Sherpas are also very nimble and sure-footed, which would come in handy when trying to side-step the toddlers who swarm the foyers and hallways like feral cats.
When he wasn't shifting my load from the car to the chapel to Sunday school to the young women's room to my classroom (with a couple of trips to the bathroom in between) I could keep him busy with other Sunday duties that I don't particularly relish:
I could send him to the library to wrestle chalk and an eraser away from the librarian.
Since we meet in the seminary room, I could have him go in ahead of time to air out the room and get rid of the "eau de teenage boys" which permeates the carpet and drapes.
I could have him mete out inscrutably effective Nepalese tortures to girls who violate the "no texting during YW rule."
My brother served his mission in Washington D.C. and served, for a while, in a very wealthy area where the chauffeurs lined up outside the building during church, patiently awaiting their charges. In my fantasy ward there would be a line of patient sherpas, waiting to tote all your church luggage back out the car, while you chatted in the foyer with friends and feral kittens.
It sounds like you can use a sherpa for sure. I how ever use a minimalist approach to church. I sometimes have my purse but that's about it. Maybe that's why I just got released from my calling... not enough house plants or table clothes.
ReplyDeleteYou should try to negotiate all of it with a cane in one hand. I think when you get a certain age, sherpas should be one of the perks.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could get some saddle bags for Newton and he could be your sherpa/service dog.
ReplyDeleteBeing one of the mom's of two "eau de teenage boys". I had to CRACK up at that comment! I also like the idea of the church sherpa - although my new calling of being a ward missionary requires much less "baggage" than my relief society calling that I'm still mourning.
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