He Did it His Way

Bill spent the last eight days in Hawaii. Specifically, on Oahu, at the Ala Moana Hotel on Waikiki Beach. This is the view from his hotel room. Hawaii is a part of the sales territory that he manages and he was there to help them with their booth at the Water Environment Trade Show. (Just as an aside--the Maui team took the Sludge Shoveling competition this year.)



I know that the question on every one's mind is, "Why didn't you go with him?" I would have thought that the last line in the previous paragraph would be answer enough, but the truth is that we looked into it and didn't have enough air miles for the trip and I didn't want to pay for it. By saving my air miles, I am able to fly free to San Antonio next month and again in August to help Liza with the Psoriasis Convention. Plus, I've already been to Hawaii (who hasn't?) and Bill was going to be pretty tied up with work everyday. There will be other trips to Hawaii that I WILL go on, so everybody just settle down.



Bill has been gloomy about having to go on this trip for weeks. To quote Sean, "Dad is a strange man, isn't he?" He hates air travel and he hates being on his own for more than a day or two. It's a generational thing. Men of his generation don't do well on their own. I am part of the last generation of women who were trained to smooth the way for their men. We go ahead, cutting a path through the underbrush, clearing the way for our heroes to go out into the world and slay the dragon. We have clearly defined roles. He makes the living...I make the life. Left to his own devices, he doesn't know what to do with himself once he punches the time clock at the end of the day.



Prior to his trip we had a lot of heartfelt pep talks; "Hawaii is fun. Lots of people LIKE Hawaii. Get out of your hotel room. Go sightseeing. Make some memories. Have fun, damn it!"



The fact that I would also be on my own for eight days was not a concern for either of us. I won't say that I enjoy being alone, but I don't hate it. I have such a long list of hobbies, interests and projects, that I will never live long enough to do everything I want to do. When I travel, I have to pack an extra bag for everything I plan to get done on the plane, on the train or in the car. Once, on an Amtrack trip to northern California, I actually took my sewing machine and finished Easter dresses while travelling to and from Pleasanton. There are seats facing tables and each has an electrical outlet. Air travel is a different matter. Since 9-11 there is always the fear that some old lady will take over the plane with an embroidery hoop or knitting needle, so you are pretty much limited to reading matter. I told Bill to take magazines, books or newspaper on the flight because it's a long one (6.5 hours). He told me not to worry, that he would "find" something to do. That's exactly what happened. He made new best friends with two retired ladies from Winnipeg, Canada, making a pilgrimage to Hawaii to reverence the boyhood home of their hero, Barrack Obama. They didn't bring anything to read, either, so the three of them "chatted" the entire trip.



Bill's problem is that his hobbies aren't really portable. His number one hobby is work, with reading e-mails on his Blackberry an important subset. His next favorite thing to do is watch TV, with preparing his Sunday School lesson coming in at number three. He likes to read really old conference talks on the Internet. He doesn't like to read books. He likes to do Sudoku puzzles, but only on the toilet. (Sorry...TMI)



He ended up not hating his trip to Hawaii. But...he definitely did it his way. Here is a list of how he spent his non-working hours:



1. He got a haircut.



2. He shopped for new, blue Oxford shirts on the Internet. This falls under the heading "crisis management." It seems that after 30 years of ordering only Stafford brand Oxford shirts from JC Penney, they have re-configured the brand, introducing new colors and new sizing. This lack of customer loyalty threw him into such a tizzy that he had to find a new supplier. And, because he is so disappointed with JC Penney, he has given up his four year experiment with stripes and is returning to his "blue only" policy.



3. He rented a car and drove to the North Shore to see how long it would take him to drive to the Polynesian Cultural Center in case he decided to go there. He didn't. Well, he did his test drive, but he didn't actually go there.



4. He drove to Pipeline and found a restaurant where he could have dinner and watch the surfers without having to encounter sand.



5. He drove to Punchbowl and enjoyed the view. From his rental car.



6. He visited the Bishop Museum and enjoyed it tremendously, especially the planetarium. Outside of home and the train ride through the "primeval world" at Disneyland, it is his new favorite napping spot.



7. He bought me a muumuu. And not a baggy, wear your pink hair rollers and muumuu and run to the store muumuu. He bought me a beautiful, Sunday-go-to-meeting muumuu. All by himself. At a mall. This is remarkable because I honestly can't remember the last time Bill entered a store. He loves to "run errands" with me, but he and his current BFF, Merle Haggard, always wait in the car while I do the running. My new muumuu is truly beautiful and it fits. He also bought silver earrings to match. They are shaped like bird of paradise flowers.



8. Fresh on the heels of his mall victory he did a Safeway encore to buy bottled water and flavor packets for his hotel room.



He ended up having a good time. Probably more fun that if I had been there. I would have made him do a bunch of stuff he didn't really want to do. So filled with self-confidence was he that he even enjoyed the flight home. On his terms...



His flight left Honolulu at midnight. I expected that he would arrive in Bakersfield this afternoon fairly refreshed, having slept all the way home. But he was so tired he could hardly keep his eyes open. It turns out that he was only in his seat for take-off and landing. For all the hours in between, he made himself a little, private clubhouse...in the bathroom...where he sat on the closed toilet and played "brick breaker" on his cell phone for hours. He set a new record score and got to level 20. He says it's a lot more comfortable than the jam-packed seats. Besides, everyone else was asleep and there were three other bathrooms. Not wanting to act in an unfriendly, suspicious manner he timed himself and left the bathroom every 30 minutes. But he didn't return to his seat. He stood in front of "his" bathroom door, blocking anyone but the most intrepid. Twice, the bathroom across from him was occupied and he had to let someone into his private cabin. When they were finished, he thoroughly cleaned the bathroom and returned to his game. And thus he enjoyed his flight home from paradise.