I have been invited to the annual meeting of the California Independent Petroleum Association. The meeting will be held June 3-6 at the Incline Village (Lake Tahoe) Hyatt Regency. Spouses and partners are invited because this is a networking event. I suppose the assumption is that wives are a social asset. This, however, is not true in my case. I am not socially adept. I will be attending under a false premise. That's right--I'm socially awkward.
I have social-gathering phobias which include (but are not limited to) the following:
1. Opening my mouth to speak and sounding like Kermit the frog because I need to clear my throat from long periods of disuse.
2. Not knowing what to do with my hands.
3. Forgetting to put on clothes before I leave for the party. (I actually have this dream a lot.)
4. Remembering to put on clothes, but they are completely wrong. (See below)
5. Blurting to my table mate, "Would you like to see photos of my grandkids?" with a big, crazy grin on my face.
6. Being mistaken for a member of the catering staff.
7. Starting to tell a witty anecdote and forgetting how it ends.
And the list goes on...
I am particularly worried this time about the dress code, a copy of which I have already received. Friday night the event is a 70s party. We have been asked to dress accordingly. My friend, Google, found this picture for me to use as a guide:
This should be a comfortable assignment for me. I graduated from high school in the early 70s. I attended college in the 70s. I don't remember ever dressing like this picture. Mostly, I remember a lot of thick polyester and high-waisted pants. I don't really think it's a look that deserves a comeback.
The next problem is even worse because it finds me in completely unfamiliar territory. I am supposed to wear a "cocktail dress" to Saturday night's gala. What the h*** is a "cocktail dress???" (Diet Coke capris, anyone?) Again, my buddy, Google, came to the rescue:
I am pretty sure I don't own anything that qualifies.
The tightwad in me would really like to address both problems with one solution. Here I am in 1974, wearing my best dress. Now, if I could only find out which landfill it ended up in...
What do you think? Have I found my look for Tahoe?
Oh man! Something about that whole event just doesn't seem fair. I'd hate it, based only on the fact that I hate shopping and costumes. Looks like you need to shop for a costume! And a cocktail dress? A thought- I wonder if in "this day and age" (not the 70's) you could get away with some dress pants, nice shoes, and a fancy top instead of a cocktail dress?
ReplyDeleteI'm with Karrie, skip the dress and wear black dress pants and a sparkly top. It's serves a dual purpose...you don't have to find a skimpy black dress and it make you look like you're some sort of super liberated feminist type (great conversation starter). As for the 70's getup this is right up your alley. Just crack out one of your prairie, hippy type skirts and call it good. We want to see pictures with whatever you end up in!
ReplyDeleteHA! I'm with the other girls on the cocktail attire. The costume stabs my brain too...hate dressing up. Don't feel nervous though because you are actually quite fun at social gatherings- people always mention how funny you are to me so obviously you are not as awkward as you feel. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI say if you put on make-up similiar to the cutie pie in the hot pink dress, no one will notice what your fabulous 50ish self is wearing.
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