Naked in the Cave

I've got to stop watching so much HGTV. Like an insecure seventh grader I am succumbing to peer pressure. I have become convinced that I am only a rung or two above cave dweller on the evolutionary ladder because I don't have granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances and I'm not sure I deserve to live and be happy because not only do I have ceiling fans but...gasp!!!...my floors are covered with carpet.

With echoes of my mother's voice ringing in my ears ("If your friends told you to jump off a bridge would you do it???") I recently followed the advice of yet another anorexic stranger with good hair and the title "designer."

She convinced me that it's tacky to keep the book jackets on my books when displaying them in bookcases. I had never considered this before. For me, the book jacket is just a protective layer to keep the spa water off my books while enjoying my evening soak. It had never occurred to me to attach an aesthetic value to book covers.

I may be a cave dweller at heart, but I don't want to be a tacky one, so I immediately set about stripping every book in the house. I filled two giant black yard bags. About the time I was stuffing them into the garbage barrel, it occurred to me that I would never again be able to refresh my memory of a book I had read. I no longer had a handy synopsis to refer to. I could rescue my book covers from the trash and cut out the flaps, gluing them into the books like they do at the library. This would preserve their new non-tacky appearance, but I knew that it would be a time consuming job. What with working in the young women's program, I hardly have time to shower...or chew my food. So I knew THAT wasn't going to happen. I could rescue them from the trash and put everything back the way it was, but the covers had gotten quite crushed in the process of stuffing them into the barrel and I was pretty certain that crushed book covers were definitely gauche.

So there my books sit, in all their naked glory. The designer chick should have mentioned that this works best if underneath your tacky book covers you have leather-bound first editions. It was Bill who pointed out that my cheap book club editions are not really meant to be seen in their birthday suits. They DO look rather grim...but not tacky:


Speaking of books...I would be interested to know what everyone is reading these days. I just finished "Find Me," by Carol O'Connell. No, she didn't play Archie Bunker. In my opinion, this is the best (and I fear the last) in the fabulous "Mallory" series, which begins with "Mallory's Oracle." I highly recommend the series to anyone who enjoys somewhat gritty (though not graphic), psychology-based mysteries. Waiting in the queue on my nightstand are; "Death of a Witch," by M.C. Beaton, "Execution Dock," by Anne Perry, "The Birthday Present," by Barbara Vine (a.k.a Ruth Rendell) and "Life Sentences," by Laura Lippman. They are all still fully-clothed.