The Day God Spilled the Paint

The next time someone asks you why anyone would want to live in Bakersfield, show them this picture, taken this week in the hills just outside of town. Something to remember a few weeks from now when everything will be baked to a nice, toasty brown.

Luke 18: 27

Between being in Primary and being sick, I have not been to Relief Society for a long time, so it was a real treat when I was able to attend on Sunday. (I have a doctor's excuse from Primary for now.) They announced a ward dinner and silent auction this Friday to earn money for the boys' and girls' camps. Sisters were encouraged to sign up to donate goods or services for the auction. As part of my "return to normal" campaign and also wanting to feel more a part of the ward, I grabbed the sign-up and committed to donating a "hand-smocked baby dress."

What was I thinking?????

When I told Bill, he said, "That's nice. Are you going to display a picture or something so that people will know what they're bidding on?" Nooooo--that would be way too easy! Knowing that Bill would be out of town for three days, I decided that I could stay up around the clock if necessary to get the smocking done and sew the dress before Friday. (See my post on OCD.)

I started to question my own sanity when I realized that it was taking me ten minutes just to thread a single needle with my wonky eyes. (There are sixteen needles to thread on my pleater PLUS all the needles that have to be threaded when doing the actual smocking.)

And so I did what I always do when I need help. I prayed. I pointed out to the Lord that this was for a good cause, and that I obviously couldn't do it alone. Of course, I also included the "thy will, not mine" clause which I have learned to be be very accepting of. I tried threading my needles again and this time I could see to do it. In fact, my vision was almost normal most of the time that I was working. When it did get to the point where I couldn't see well, I would take a short break until my vision cleared up again.

Even with the Lord's help, I wasn't sure I had enough time to get this project done by Friday. Well, I just finished. It took three days to do all the smocking and the sewing. AND I was in bed by 1:00 a.m. each night! I have never completed a smocked project this quickly. Obviously, I had a lot of help.

I hope it fetches big money at the auction but even if it doesn't (we know how cheap Mormons are) I have my reward. I feel so good about being able to physically do it, and most importantly, I have proof yet again of the Lord's "tender mercies" in my life.

Click on a photo to see an enlarged view.

I'm Shocked!

Wow! We didn't see this coming, did we? (Be careful not to step in that puddle of dripping sarcasm.) In a calculated move to transition her career from teen novelty act (albeit insanely successful) to "legitimate" adult entertainer, Miley has (imho) placed one foot squarely on the side of the chalk line with Lindsay, Britney and Jamie Lynn. Maybe the Disney Channel needs to go back to the days of animation only. I don't think Minnie ever gave them this much trouble. Miley claims that she "regrets" her decision to pose and is "embarrassed." What she SHOULD be embarrassed about is the way she has exploited thousands of little girls, hungry for a celebrity that they can adore without reservation. Let's hope that David Archuleta doesn't also turn out to have feet of clay.

OCD

I have never been officially diagnosed with OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) but I think those who know me will admit that I have a certain "stick-to-itiveness." It is both a blessing and a burden. On one hand, I get a lot done. On the other hand, my accomplishments don't always make sense in the traditional sense. For example, I am currently obsessing about completing my collection of Sue Grafton mysteries. Thanks to some birthday gift certificates to half.com my project is moving along. I now have "G" through "T" in her alphabet series. I don't have the earlier ones because I checked them out of the library. I need to get "A" through "F" before I can really relax. I wish she would hurry and finish "U" through "Z". I really don't like seeing an incomplete alphabet on my bookshelf.

Another example...While recuperating I have been nearly driven insane by sitting and watching HGTV and Court TV 'round the clock. I NEEDED A PROJECT!!!! But it had to use materials that I already had on hand since I wasn't driving yet (I am now) and it had to be something I could manage to see with my wonky vision (which is now improving .) It occurred to me that I could make blanket-stitched felt lambies. Some of the first ones aren't as nicely stitched as I would have liked since I was basically doing it by feel, but they have improved. The problem became that I couldn't stop until I used up all my felt. I finished the last one last night. Now what do I do with them?

Birthday Report

I promised a pictorial review for everyone who was not invited (that would be everyone) to accompany us on my birthday dining extravaganza. Bill went the extra mile to make it a very special birthday for me. I got gift cards to World Market and Target and an evening out at the Petroleum Club. He even called Chef Robert (pronounced "Ro-bare") ahead of time to arrange a sugar-free dessert. In Bakersfield, The Petroleum Club is considered a high class joint. We know it's high class because it's expensive, everything is ala carte, and the highly skilled waiters are quite snooty.


We started with a complimentary "amuse bouche," which is French for "amuse the mouth." It is a small bite before the meal begins and is meant to convey greetings from the chef de cuisine. (It's good I watch Top Chef or I would have just sat there slack-jawed saying, "Huh?" when the waiter announced that the chef wanted to present us with an amuse bouche.) It was a raw mussel on the shell with fresh herbs, capers, and a bunch of other stuff. I DO enjoy my seafood (mostly battered and deep-fried), but I decided to pass on the mussel. Bill shamed me into trying it. It was okay. Not as chewy as I feared, but kind of slippery.

Feeling very sophisticated after my triumph over the mussel (having managed to eat it without gagging) I was ready for my Caesar salad. Again, I was in for a surprise. It was A LOT of romaine lettuce with Caesar dressing, wrapped up in kind of a cookie/cracker thing. Quite tasty. Bill had French onion soup.

On to the entrees. Bill had yellow fin tuna on a bed of kale and fingerling potatoes. I had salmon with a citrus salsa in a cherry reduction. (I can really fling those cooking terms around after four seasons of Top Chef.)

Finally, the moment I had been waiting for all evening--dessert. I couldn't wait to see what Chef Ro-bare had come up with. Well...you know on Top Chef when they have to do a dessert and everyone starts whining that they aren't "pastry chefs?" Apparently, Chef Ro-bare is not a pastry chef. The dessert was lovely, but how hard is it to slap some fresh berries down into a bowl and stick a candle on it? It DID have a sugar-free chocolate birthday greeting, which was nice, but I was craving something a little more substantial. Fortunately, Alberston's does a LOVELY sugar-free cherry pie. Topped with low-fat, no-sugar Dreyer's Slow-Churned vanilla bean ice cream and you've got yourself a pretty terrific birthday dessert.

Thank you for all the lovely birthday greetings, songs and remembrances. It's good to be loved.

Fifty-Five and Still Alive!

On Friday, I will reach the ripe old age of 55. As the joke goes, it's not so bad considering the alternative. This is not a thinly-disguised attempt to solicit gifts, but an opportunity for me to review the last 55 years. It seems to me that I have led a remarkably interesting life to this point. The last few nights as I have lain awake in bed (still a little nervous about drifting off to sleep) I have worked on my list and have surprised even myself at the variety of events and circumstances I have been able to take part in. I have had a front row seat for many of mortality's challenges AND blessings. And so, I give you....my first 55 years:

1. When I was ten, I was involved in a bad car accident in Lovelock, Nevada. This, in and of itself, is not very interesting because car accidents have been kind of a recurring theme for my family. But, what IS interesting is that I was able to write a story about the event which has been published in two different anthologies by Deseret Book.

2. When I was thirteen, I became ill and was eventually diagnosed with leukemia. In those pre-bone marrow transplant days there were few options for treatment and the doctors gave me about six months to live. My ward fasted and prayed for me and I became well. The doctors were astonished.

3. At the age of 17 I graduated from high school, attended BYU on an academic scholarship and met and married a Texan, of all things!

4. I gave birth to five children, whose combined weight totalled over 50 pounds, without so much as an aspirin! I spent five years nursing babies and more than nine years changing diapers.

5. We discovered, when our youngest was just five years old, that she had a chronic illness, leading to years of treatment and worry.

6. We participated in the Church's Indian Placement Program. As a result of the nightmare that that experience became we were asked to write a paper on our experience to be presented before a church-wide meeting of LDS Social Services. My 16 page paper was presented to the group, and, as a result, the Brethren scaled the program way back and then dropped it altogether. It was an inspired, well-intentioned program, motivated by concern for our Lamanite brothers and sisters, but problems both on the reservations and in the way it was administered made it almost impossible to work in today's world.

7. In February of 2000, my mother was badly injured in a car accident. She required months of intensive physical, emotional and mental rehabilitation. I took our four girls out of school and moved to Bozeman, Montana for five months to oversee her rehab. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. One particularly bad night the Lord spoke to me and told me that this was the purpose for which my life had been spared when I was diagnosed with leukemia.

7. I have held a number of callings in the church which have challenged and instructed me. I have served three times as a ward Relief Society president and once as a stake Relief Society president, receiving that calling when I was 31 years old. I served for seven years as stake Primary president. I have taught Sunday School, Relief Society and Primary. I have been ward activities chairman and stake public relations director. I have enjoyed most of my callings, but especially teaching.

8. I have done a lot of interesting (and not so interesting) things to boost the family's economic bottom line; babysitting, Fuller Brush, making and selling baby quilts, craft shows, and seven years of getting up at 2:00 a.m. to deliver the Bakersfield Californian.

9. I have been privileged to see a little bit of the world. We've been to Hong Kong, Singapore, Thailand, and Mexico. We've been to Florida three times. I was able to go to Hawaii and attended an LDS writer's conference there. I've seen Billy the Kid and Smokey the Bear's graves. I have touched the world's largest potato. I've lived a few miles from both the Pacific Ocean and Yellowstone National Park.

10. I have learned how to walk twice--once when I was a year old and again when I was 47 years old. The first time was easier.

11. On March 6, 2001, I was in a bad car accident (again) and spent a month in the hospital (see #9). Three years later, on the anniversary of that occasion, we were sideswiped by a big rig in New Mexico, sending our mini-van rolling over and over down the highway median. We walked away with just a few bruises.

12. We spent four years serving the Lord in Wasco, California in the La Rosa Spanish-speaking branch. I never learned Spanish, but I developed adequate piano skills.

13. In December, 2005, I helped to nurse my sweetheart through a bad case of cellulitis. I learned to administer IVs and stack pillows just right for elevating his leg.

14. In March of this year (I'm going to sit March out from now on) I did my part to bolster the local health industry's bottom line by spending 10 days in the hospital with a mysterious, as yet undiagnosed, lung ailment. Throughout this latest business it has been confirmed for me over and over that my best and dearest friends are my precious husband, children, their spouses and our twelve perfect grandchildren.

I think that we all have a tendency to tell ourselves when something bad happens that we "can't wait until this is over so that we can get back to our 'real' life." What I have come to realize is that this list (and many, many other things not on the list) IS my "real" life. These events weren't occasions for me to detour around in order to get back on track, but they were sitting right in the middle of my road from where I was to where I needed to be. This IS life. I love my life. Thank you for being a part of my first 55 years!

Cleaning Ladies Part 2

If you go back and read my February 22 post on cleaning ladies, you will remember that I have been struggling with mine (cleaning ladies, that is.) After they cleaned the kitchen with Pledge, I vowed to give them just one more chance. The next time they came I (again) reviewed all of the cleaning products and we did a little matching quiz. "Which room goes with Tilex? Anyone? Anyone?" I thought the review had been pretty comprehensive. I went into the computer room to work on my Primary lesson. Needing a glass of water, I made my way to the kitchen and found, to my surprise, that Carmen was spraying every surface in the kitchen with BBQ grill cleaner that she had smuggled in from home. I swear...it took me a week to get it wiped off of everything. She had even sprayed the plastic crock pot lid and the blender with it. I was ready to call (I can't fire people in person) and tell them that I wouldn't be needing them anymore when I landed in the hospital. One good thing about being in a coma is that other people are sort of forced to pick up the slack. So Bill had to make the call and tell them that I was sick and we wouldn't be needing them "for a while." He told them we would call back "if" we needed them again. Like maybe the day I see pigs flying past the kitchen window.

Jump ahead to earlier this week. Heather brought me lunch on Monday and asked what I was going to do about a cleaning lady. I had actually been thinking about trying the girl who cleans for Heather, so she made the call and today I was blessed (cue the angelic choirs) with a visit from Blanca and Vero. Imagine eating a really fine steak after a whole lot of bologna sandwiches. I have landed in cleaning lady heaven.

Let me list a small sampling of the things they did today... For starters, the grout in my kitchen looks like a model home that has never known food preparation. My baseboards have been scrubbed, my toaster has been taken apart, de-crumbed and now shines like a newly-minted dime, and all of the slats on all of our mission-style furniture have been individually dusted. My previous cleaning ladies had no more than a nodding acquaintance with my grout and the closest they came to cleaning the toaster was to spray it with Pledge.

For the first time in a long time, I didn't have to clean my house after the cleaning ladies left. Blanca and Vero are heroines of housework and I salute them!

Thank You, Sarah!

Saturday morning we will say good-bye to Sarah and the boys as they return to St. George and Sean. We owe them (and Sean) a big debt of gratitude for two and a half weeks of in-house care, while I was in the hospital and after I got home. Sarah has taken over grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, cooking, organizing meds, pet care, spa care, plant care, etc., etc. I don't know what we would have done without her. Of course, she has had a lot of help from both Heather and Clare, who have faithfully brought in meals, babysat and helped me with showering and personal care.

Food-wise we have never eaten better. Tonight Sarah made Emily's recipe for chicken roll-ups and they were wonderful!

I think there is money to be made by doing private catering to hospital patients. I mean, if you could CHOOSE between these chicken roll-ups, or Clare's Greek pasta salad, or Heather's tortellini chicken soup and hedgehog with orange gravy (which I swear I was served one day in the hospital), wouldn't you pay a little extra? Honestly, the only thing the hospital kitchen has going for it is an endless supply of bendy straws and applesauce.

Of course the food isn't the only thing we will miss when Sarah leaves. It has been great fun to spend time with Ashton and Alvie. I know Ashton, especially, has missed his daddy, and I know Sean has missed his family. It will be great for them to be back together.

I'm sorry that I don't have very interesting things to blog about yet. My world has temporarily shrunk and become quite boring, but I will try to do better as I improve and get out and about more. I am making improvement. Yesterday, for the first time, I actually felt better. I am trying to do a little more for myself everyday, and I fully expect that I will be completely back in a week or two. In the meantime, I continue to be so grateful to my distant loved ones whose prayers and support have encircled me with love and comfort that I can physically feel, and for those who are close and have devoted so many unselfish hours to my recovery and care.

So...what do you think about my private hospital catering idea? Honestly, If Emily were to wheel a cart full of her cookies (or Jeremy a big tray of his cinnamon rolls) down the hallways of their local health emporium there would be such a mad rush of of flapping hospital gowns and bare bums you'd think you were at a streaker's convention. Think about it...

I'm Back

As all of my regular readers know, I returned home Friday from my ten day sojourn in the hospital. There will be no photos to mark the occasion, though. I am approximately the same color as spackling putty, with big, dark circles under my eyes and scabrous lips, left cracked and bleeding from the ventilator tube. In other words--not a pretty picture. I have the energy of a newborn mouse and I feel like my brain has been sent to the cleaners and isn't back yet. My vision has been affected and I have become (for now, at least) an insulin-dependant diabetic. I am struggling to find anything very funny to say. The whole experience has left me in a rather solemn frame of mind. I was in a coma-like condition for a couple of days and missed most of the excitement, so I only have the words of others to guide my understanding of what happened.

My lung doctor, Dr. Laughlin, told me that I came within an hour of dying. He told me that he suctioned more blood and pus from my lungs than from anyone in his entire career (and he is not a particularly young man). Our family doctor/friend/ Bishop/Dr. Brad Davis, told me when he visited the hospital and saw all the flowers in my room that "I was lucky to to be looking at blooms and not roots." When told about the odd comment I made just before they called the ambulance, Bishop Davis told me that the veil had been "very thin" for me at that point, and it may not have been just the ramblings of an incoherent mind.

All of this has given me much to ponder, especially late at night when all the loved ones left the hospital for the day and I was alone with my thoughts. The scary "what if" door would creak open, inviting me inside to contemplate what nearly was. I know that if it had been my time to go, the Lord would have taken me. The fact that He didn't is a tribute to the many priesthood blessings I received, the countless prayers and the faith of those who love me. Above all, it was simply the Lord's will for me that I should recover, and learn what? When I had my car accident, it was made quite plain to me the lessons the Lord wanted me to learn; that I am not in charge of the universe and that I had to learn to accept God's will with patience and grace. I felt like I had internalized those lessons pretty well. So what, now? A booster shot? A refresher course? Or am I supposed to take something entirely different away from this experience?

If I learn nothing else, I am developing mad patience skills. In the last two weeks I have had more than 2 dozen large vials of blood drawn, I have had my lungs "scoped" three times. The last time I even had the walls of my lungs scrubbed with little brushes. I've had four tissue biopsies of my lungs done. I've had a cat scan of my lungs, an mri of my lungs, several x-rays and an echo cardiogram of my heart done. I have received three different courses of antibiotics, a course of anti-fungal medication, breathing treatments, steroid treatments, massive doses of potassium and have learned to test my blood sugar four times a day, calculate my insulin and shoot myself up. I have been tested for all of the following and all tests were found negative; the six "normal" pneumonias, fungal diseases, valley fever, t.b. in various forms, Legionnaire's disease, and cancer. On the day he let me go home, Dr. Laughlin said, "I still have no idea what's growing in your lungs, but I want to get you out of here before you catch something else in the hospital." So I am continuing all my treatments at home where I am very well cared for by Bill, Sarah, Clare, Chris, Carl, Heather, etc. I will see Dr. Laughlin again on the 18th and by then he will have more results back from the biopsies, but he warns that we may never figure out what I've got. In the meantime he is calling it "persistent viral lung infection."

Sometime on Thursday I woke up to find a breathing tube down my throat and my hands tied to the side of the bed. I didn't know where I was or how I had come to be there. As quickly as I was overwhelmed with terror, that feeling left and was replaced with the calm and comfort that all of the many prayers on my behalf had bought me.

It has been a difficult season for the extended Reed family. We are so grateful for every one's faith and prayers on behalf of me, Abby and her family, Jake and his family, and for my Mom and Dad. I am so grateful for my eternal companion, who has hardly left my side through all of this. He is my rock. We are so blessed to have the children we have. Each one is so good and so filled with faith , kindness and generosity. Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and help. I promise that this is last of the deep, somber thoughts. Maybe my next blog will be about hospital food (I have a roadkill theory I'm working on) or maybe bendy straws (one of the best parts of any hospital stay.)

Again, thank you. It's good to be back!